Change In The Air
by MaryRussellgrl
Summary: Grissom gets a job offer elsewhere and leaves Sara behind. She finds someone to fill the void only to have him taken away. Now she has to be strong and take on another role with Grissom returning to fill the void. Warning Charactor Death


I stood waiting for Grissom to go home. He stood in the hallway talking to Nick. I watched him nod listening to Nick then he talked. Smiling, I admired his profile feeling like I was falling in love with him again. He waved at Nick walking over to where I stood.

"Ready dear?" He said, quietly.

"Yes."

He followed me out going to our car. Once inside he noticed I was looking at him smiling.

"What's wrong?" He asked

I leaned over tilting my head kissing him. He moved back smiling looking at me.

"You're cute." I said

"Hmm, no one has ever said that about me." He said, reaching over taking my hand.

I walked into the house as he came in looking at me putting his brief case down on the floor. I got out some left over pasta I made putting it in the microwave as I turned on the oven sensing him coming over behind me. I smiled as he moved my hair kissing my neck then he moved me to face him.

"Sara, I need to talk to you."

"What is it?" I asked, already feeling dread.

He took my hands looking down at them then he looked at me.

"I got a call from an old friend of mine who is working in Paris. He offered me a job to lecture and help with some dig research."

I looked at him with surprise.

"You're going to leave?"

"I am thinking about it, but I wanted to discuss it with you."

"I….I can't believe this." I said, looking down.

"I won't do it if you don't want me to."

I shook my head looking at him.

"No, I won't stand in your way. It sounds like a good job and it is something you have wanted to do. I want you to go. We'll see each other."

He looked at me seeing that I was visibly upset trying to hide it.

"I…I think I'll change." I said, going past him quickly to the stairs shutting the bedroom door. I stood against it feeling my heart being ripped out. Grissom leaned against the counter with his head hanging down as he sighed knowing I was upset.

Grissom accepted the offer and on the day he was to go he walked into the breakroom seeing me getting coffee standing at the counter looking at him.

"My cab is on its way." He said

"Okay." I said

He seemed hesitant about going as he watched me.

"Call me when you get there." I said

"I will."

I slowly walked over hugging him.

"I'll miss you." He said

"I'll….miss you." I said, hearing my voice crack.

He moved back touching my cheek then I backed up touching his coat. He smiled at me before leaving. I watched him go letting my tears go down my cheek.

His absence left a great void at work, but as the weeks went by it got easier. Catherine took over as supervisor along with a new man called Langston.

At the end of a shift I came home achy and tired after waking up in a hospital. I went to the living room couch sliding down on it closing my eyes. My cell phone went off causing me to groan moving to my back I put the phone to my ear.

"Sidle." I said

"Hello dear." Grissom said

"Hey." I said, winching some.

"How was your shift?"

I sighed looking up at the ceiling.

"Um….it was different."

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter." I said, closing my eyes.

"I feel as if you are withholding something."

"No."

"Sara, talk to me."

"I miss you." I said

He sighed knowing I was intentionally changing the subject.

"I miss you to."

"What are you doing right now?"

"I am talking to you about what happened."

"I'm fine." I said "I am also really tired."

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"No."

"Fine, go to bed."

"Love you."

"I love you."

I hung up looking at the phone. Grissom dialed another number waiting.

"Willows." A sleepy voice answered.

"Cath, its Grissom. What happened to Sara during the shift?"

I woke early so sore to find that I had gotten a text all from Grissom. I lifted the phone up to look at it.

 _Catherine told me. Are you all right?_

I sighed rubbing my head then I texted back.

 _Yes, I am fine._

I went into shift seeing Catherine walking over looking at me with guilt.

"I had to tell him." She said

"I know, it's okay."

"How are you?"

"Very sore."

"Do you need to some time off?"

"No, I'll be fine."

"Well I will say this, you are tough. Any other person thrown from a window would have broken their neck."

"I must be."

She smiled walking past. Langston came into the lab I was in walking over to the table I worked at.

"I heard about your accident." He said

"I'm fine." I said

"I'm glad you are." He said, touching my shoulder. "Come by sometime to chat."

"I will." I said, smiling.

He walked out as I returned to work. Grissom called, but I didn't answer. Catherine walked into the locker room seeing me holding my head with my hands. She walked over touching my head seeing me raise it to look at her.

"Headache?"

"A bad one." I said

"Did you take something for it?"

"Yes." I said, holding my head again. My phone rang beside me and I moaned. Catherine picked it up seeing it was Grissom.

"Hello?" She answered

I could hear his voice muffled as he talked fast to Catherine.

"She's fine." She said, looking at me. "No, she is with me at the present."

She listened as I raised my head looking at her. I watched her put her hand over the receiver looking at me.

"You haven't called him in twenty four hours?"

I looked at my watch seeing it was over twenty four hours.

"Oops." I said

She shook her head listening again.

"Yes, I will tell her…okay, bye."

"Is he mad?"

"Very, I think you need to call him before he comes here." She said, handing me the phone. "First you need to go home."

"I will soon." I said

She nodded watching me dial Grissom's number before leaving.

"Where have you been?" Grissom asked, with an angry tone. "I was worried sick about you!"

"I'm sorry." I said, winching as I held my head with my hand.

"I am your husband that entitles me to know what is going on!"

"Okay, stop yelling!"

He sighed staying quiet. I could imagine him closing his eyes rubbing his head.

"Look I meant to call you, but I was busy."

"You make time."

"I will." I said

"Are you going home?" He asked, calmer.

"Yes."

"Are you all right?"

"I have a bad headache."

"You should go to the hospital." He said

"They said I was fine."

"They should check you again."

"I promise to go if it gets worse." I said

"Why do I feel that you're lying?"

"Because you are paranoid."

He chuckled then sighed.

"I love you, Sara."

"I know." I said, looking down.

I hung up winching as the pain reached another level. I walked out to my car feeling sprinkles of rain. I tried to get my keys out as I clutched my head. I fell to the ground on all fours feeling the rain pick up as I closed my eyes. My vision dimmed as I fell to ground letting the rain hit me. Dimly, I could hear someone running over to me kneeling down touching my neck then nothing.

I faintly heard a beeping from somewhere near me and someone talking. My eyelids refused to open so I just listened.

"The Doctors said she will be fine…..they told me she has a minor concussion."

I moved my head slowly to the side.

"I don't know why they didn't keep her here in the first place, but I will find out."

The person stopped talking and I heard a door shut. I was about to be swallowed up with sleep when the door opened again. I knew the person was by the bed looking at me. The door opened again.

"You called Mr. Brass?"

"Yes, Sara's husband wants me to give him a report of her status." He said

The doctor walked over prying an eye open looking at it with a light.

"Her pupils are dilated and sluggish. I believe she also has a cracked rib."

"How is that possible? She has been working as if nothing is wrong?"

"Shock and adrenaline can keep anyone from feeling pain. Unfortunately it does stop and we are left to feel every injury we sustained."

"When can she go home?"

"I'd like to keep her here for the time being so we can monitor her."

Brass nodded looking at me.

The rain poured down outside when I woke again this time able to open my eyes seeing the lit window to my left. I was in a dimly lit room as it was night. The rain storm was calming to watch. The door opened gently as someone came in. I watched the figure quietly walk over to the bed. My hand was lifted up and I knew who it was.

"Grissom?" I said, weakly.

"I couldn't just stay in Paris when you were here." He said

He leaned down kissing my head. His lips lingered on my skin as I closed my eyes feeling his warm breath. My foggy brain was slightly aware of his smoothing his cheek against mine before I let myself sleep.

"I'm staying, Sara." He whispered

Catherine sat in a chair by my bed looking at her phone when I opened my eyes seeing her. She looked over at me then smiled.

"Hey."

"Where is Grissom?"

"He went to get something to eat. I made him."

I moved my head looking at the ceiling.

"You okay?" She asked

"I hate that Grissom is in Paris."

"Why don't you tell him?"

I looked over at her.

"I can't, because he wanted to do this and I felt like I was interfering with his dream."

"Well Sara, you need to talk to him."

The door opened as Grissom came in seeing I was awake. Catherine cleared her throat touching my hand.

"I think I want to get some coffee." She said

"Thank you, Cath." Grissom said, watching her leave. I watched her go out then Grissom walked over to me taking my hand leaning over kissing me. "You look better today."

"Gris, can we talk about something?"

He looked at me with concern.

"What's wrong?"

I wanted to say what I had to say, but as I looked at him I lost my nerve. He waited for me to talk, but I just sighed.

"Nothing."

"That's not what you were going to say." He said

"I love you." I said "That is what I was going to say."

He gave me an, I don't believe you look then let it go. I got better coming home the end of the week. Grissom opened the door to the house and I came in glad to be home. He put down my bag watching as I went to the living room sitting on the couch silently looking around.

He walked over plopping down beside me. I smiled faintly putting my head on his shoulder and my hand in his.

"Glad to be home?" He asked

"You have no idea." I said

He chuckled leaning over kissing my head.

"I have to pack for Paris soon."

I lifted my head looking at him.

"Gris?"

"Yes?"

His eyes searched mine.

"I…want you to move back here with me."

"You know I can't. I made a commitment to do lectures."

"I didn't think I would miss you as much as I did and I hate not being able see you." I said

"You could come to Paris."

I sighed letting go of his hand standing.

"That is not an option. The lab needs me."

"I am needed in Paris, Sara."

I walked around the coffee table crossing my arms over my chest looking at Grissom.

"When will you be done with these lectures?"

"A year, then I go on lectures throughout Europe. I will be going on digs in Peru."

"So we are talking another year?"

"Possibly three." He said

I stared at him.

"You didn't tell me about that."

"I was asked to before I came here to be with you." He said

I looked down rubbing my arms.

"Well what do we do?" I asked

"What do you mean?"

"I can't leave here and you won't leave Paris for me."

"Sara, it isn't like that."

"Whatever, the point is we will live like this for three years."

"Why are you getting upset?" He asked, standing.

"This is a nightmare! I can't live like this. I want a husband that is here with me, and I know that sounds selfish."

"Yes, it does sound selfish. I asked you at the beginning if you were okay with this and you said….."

"Yes." I said, quietly.

"Yes, and now you want me to quit something important that I promised I would do because you want me here with you!"

"You don't love me do you?" I asked, seeing his expression change to shock.

"I do love you."

"Not enough." I said, feeling tears start to simmer.

"Sara, I do love you so much. This has nothing to do with trying to get away from you. It is just an obligation that needs done."

I nodded sniffing looking down. He walked over pulling me to him.

"We'll chat on skype and you can take some time off to see me. I promise this will not change us."

I closed my eyes against him knowing something bad was coming between us.

A month later I walked out of a house carrying my case seeing Brass walking over.

"I'm done inside." I said

"Not much to go on out here either." He said "You okay Sara?"

I stood on the steps rubbing my head as he watched me.

"Yeah."

He continued to watch me as I sighed letting my arm drop.

"Well I think we are done here. I might as well go back to the lab." I said, coming down the last step.

"Leave the dirty work for us." Brass said

I nodded walking with him down the path to the cars. I drove to the lab going in walking to the breakroom to get some coffee before getting to work. Catherine came in with Langston talking about doing something. I rubbed my head again closing my eyes leaning against the counter. Langston walked over touching my arm.

"Sara, are you all right?"

I nodded watching him observing me with his doctor eyes.

"Working to hard?" Catherine asked

"No." I said

She nodded looking at Langston then at me.

"I'm fine." I said, moving away from their prying eyes. Langston watched me leave then he looked at Catherine.

"I don't think she is fine."

"This long distance relationship is taking a toll on her." Catherine said, watching him nod.

I leaned over a table looking at the little evidence I had. Langston came in standing on the other side leaning over as I was looking at me. I looked at him curiously.

"I know your not right, Sara."

"I am okay."

"I'm not buying it."

He watched as I sighed looking over at the hallway then at him.

"Grissom wants to separate."

"Separate?"

"Yes, he feels that we aren't connecting as we were."

"I'm sorry."

I nodded sadly.

"The thing is I love him still. I know he loves me, but he wants out."

"Is there anything I can do?"

I shook my head looking down.

"I'll be fine."

He reached over touching my hand.

"If you need anything let me know." He said, watching me nod.

I watched him leave then I looked down again at the clothes I had spread out on the table. I got home opening my mail going to the computer turning it on seeing that Grissom wanted to talk. I flipped on Skype waiting for him as I looked at a letter. His face appeared not smiling as he used to.

"Sara, I am sending you an envelope."

"What's in it?" I asked

He fidgeted then looked to the side.

"It's a petition for divorce."

I stared at him like a statue.

"I had not planned on doing this as quickly, but it just seemed like a good time to just get it over with." He said, avoiding my eyes.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked

He looked at me.

"Because I want you to be free."

"Grissom, I don't want to be free!"

"I do then."

A tear went down my cheek.

"Well then I will sign and you will be." I said, hanging up.

Grissom sighed looking at the dark screen sadly. I cried against my hand in bed feeling everything let loose. My life was in a downhill spiral after that. As the week progressed I received the divorce papers. I set them down unable to sign them. Catherine watched me turn into a zombie practically overnight and she knew something was very wrong.

I walked to my car a few weeks later as she came out running over to me.

"Sara?"

I turned looking through her not at her.

"Are you all right?" She asked, walking over.

I slowly nodded.

"I'm worried about you. Maybe you need some time off."

I shook my head.

"I can work."

"That's not the question. I just think you need to rest."

"I will."

She nodded watching me turn walking to my car. I came home shutting the door locking it. My house was a mess with beer cans all around and the divorce papers still sat on the kitchen island. I looked at them hearing my phone ring. I lifted it without looking at who was calling.

"Hello?"

"Sara, it's me." Grissom said

"What do you want?"

"I wanted to ask if you signed the papers yet."

"No, I have not."

"Why not?"

I hung the phone up throwing it into the living room. I stared at the papers hearing the phone ring again.

Brass walked to my front door ten minutes later after receiving a worried phone call from Grissom. He felt bad that the situation had come to this. He knocked on my door.

"Sara, open up its Brass." He called, waiting. "Sara!"

He tried to open the door then he looked around for a spare key finding none he rammed the door feeling it give way. He looked around seeing a torn paper all over the floor and many beer cans littering the area.

"Sara?" He called

My phone was ringing as he walked in quickly looking around going into the bedroom not seeing me. The next place was the bathroom which was closed. He took a breath walking over knocking.

"Sara, its Brass."

He listened worried when no sound came. He slowly opened the door seeing the shower curtain was pulled all the way across hiding whatever was beyond it.

"Sara?" He called, reaching for the curtain pulling it open quickly. He gasped seeing me lying in the tub clothed with a cut wrist. "Sara!"

He leaned down touching my neck feeling a pulse. He got out his phone and then got a towel holding it to my wrist. The ambulance came and I was taken to the hospital. When I woke a day later I saw that my wrist had been bandaged and I was in the hospital.

Someone came in and I saw Catherine looking worried and sad looking at my wrist then at me.

"You will never know how close you came to death."

"You should have left me." I said

"Brass found you." She said

I nodded looking away from her.

"Does…he know?" I asked

"Yes."

I closed my eyes swallowing. She watched me a moment before looking up seeing Brass walk in.

"Sara, I called Grissom." He said "I told him what a jerk he was. He's coming here."

I nodded slowly. I slept in the quiet room the next night when Grissom came in the door. He looked at me in the dim lit room already seeing the bandage around my wrist lying on my stomach. He walked over to the bed looking at my peaceful face leaning to the side.

"Sara?" He said, quietly.

When I did not move he sighed closing his eyes then he opened them looking at me again.

"All the way here I was thinking about what an idiot I was being." He said, quietly. "I was being selfish in thinking you were not happy with me and that made it easy to become cold. Now you are lying here because of me and it just…..tears me apart."

I moved my head swallowing jumping seeing a figure standing beside me bed.

"It's okay." He said

"Grissom?"

"I….wanted to see you." He said

I moved sitting up looking at him.

"I will sign the papers." I said, coldly.

"No, I am not here for that." He said, sitting on the bed. "Sara, can we turn back the clock?"

I looked at him feeling a flutter in my chest.

"How can we?" I said

He reached over touching my hand.

"I want to."

"Out of pity?"

"No….Sara, I have made a mistake and I was wanting to fix it. I will move back here and we can be together."

"Just like that?"

"Yes, if you want to." He said, as his blue eyes searched my face. I looked down at his hand on mine feeling over whelmed. I removed my hand looking to the side.

"I can't do this. You come in here and tell me now you want me back!"

He looked at me watching me wipe a tear from my cheek.

"What can I do?"

"Nothing, I will sign the papers and then we are done."

"Sara, please….just….."

"No." I said, shaking my head.

He sighed looking at me then he left the room. I closed my eyes crying after a two days I went home finding a new manila envelope at my door. I opened it seeing the new divorce papers sent by Grissom. Signing them I sent it on its way then I went to bed. A week later Nick walked into the locker room seeing me sitting on the bench crying.

"Hey." He said, sitting down beside me. I looked at him as he put his arm around me pulling me to his chest. "I am sorry about you and Grissom."

I nodded sniffing.

"I thought you and he would last forever."

"Me to." I said, sitting up looking at him.

"Why don't you and I go to this diner after shift and talk?"

"I'm afraid I would be terrible company." I said

"No one else will go with me."

I smiled as he did.

"Okay."

"Great, meet me outside after shift."

I nodded watching him leave. After shift I stood outside waiting for him. He strolled out holding his keys smiling at me.

"Let's go in my car." He said

I slid into his car as he started the engine driving out onto the road.

"Hungry?" He asked

"Not really."

"You'll love the food at this place. It reminds me of Texas." He said, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as rock music played on his radio. I smiled watching him enjoy the music singing faintly.

He parked outside this old looking diner. We went in getting a table.

"Order whatever you want I am paying." He said

"Big spender." I said

"I just solved that case that took a week." He said

"Congratulations." I said

He smiled before giving the waitress his order. I gave mine then we sat in silence.

"It must be hard to pick up the pieces after a hard breakup."

"Nick, do you mind if we don't talk about this?" I asked, looking down.

He reached over touching my hand.

"Hey," He said "It's all right."

I nodded taking a breath.

Later Nick's house door was kicked open as he kissed me with passion. He closed the door pushing me against it.

"I….think….this is…..a bad….idea!" I said, panting.

"I…am….sure it is." He said, taking his shirt off.

I felt him pull me with him to the couch. He fell on it not breaking contact. His hands tried to take off my clothes. I stopped him taking my shirt off then I undid my pants leaning down kissing him. He moved us so I was the one lying against the cushions. I could hear his belt coming undone then he sat back taking his pants off. Soon I was lost again in his kisses. I knew deep down I should not let this happen, but when he touched me it was all forgotten.

Slowly I got up while he slept on the couch. Picking up my clothes I looked at him then I walked out quietly. When I got home I took a long hot shower trying to ease the pain I felt.

At work Nick walked into the lab I was in. I looked at him as he walked over touching my arm.

"Are you okay?" He asked

"Yeah, sorry about leaving." I said

"It's okay. I was just worried about you." He said, rubbing my arm. "Look, I have to meet Catherine so we can talk later."

"Okay." I said

He kissed my head before leaving. I shook trying to work again. He stood outside by my car as I exited the building.

"Hey honey." He said, smiling at me.

"Hey."

"You look tired."

"I am a little." I said

He looked behind me as people walked out.

"Let's talk over there." He said, pulling me with him to the side of the building. "So how do you really feel?"

"Fine." I said, smiling.

He leaned forward's kissing me as his hand rested on my hips.

"Want to come over to my place?"

"I would, but I…..should get some sleep." I said

He nodded understanding.

"I'll call you later."

I watched him leave then I leaned against the building thinking.

Nick walked to the door yawning later as I pounded on his door. He opened it seeing me.

"Sara, what are you…?" He said, or started to as I came in kissing him. I realized he was not wearing a shirt. My hands went around his toned body to his back. He shut the door with his foot.

He woke up looking at me next to him in bed. His eyes went down my sheet covered body as I slept. I moved my head to the other side as he watched me take a deep breath. He moved over to me smiling as his finger touched my cheek. I scratched the spot then he did it again. I groaned moving blinking as I saw him.

"What time is it?" I asked

"About ten."

I sighed laying back again closing my eyes.

"Happy?" He asked

I nodded.

"You're a good kisser." He said

I opened my eyes looking at him.

"No one has ever said that before."

"Not even….?" He asked

"No, he never said."

His hand rested on my stomach as he sighed.

"So does this mean we are a couple or just an occasional stay over thing?"

"I think we should just do the stay over thing." I said

"Good idea."

I watched him smile as he thought about something.

"What?"

He looked at me.

"I was just thinking about earlier."

"You can't have that silly smile at work."

"I can if I want."

"Nick." I said

"Don't worry, your secret will be safe with me."

I reached over touching his face.

"I should get home." I said

"Stay." He said, touching my arm.

"We have to get some more sleep and work."

"Do it here."

"I would, but I think you have other things on your mind."

He smiled laying his head down on the pillow beside mine.

"I doubt if you would complain."

"You're a distraction."

My phone on the floor started to ring.

"Why does it ring when I am in bed?" I asked, holding the sheet against me as I reached down grabbing my pants taking out my phone. "Sidle."

"Hey Sara." Grissom said

"Ah Grissom!" I said "What do you need?"

"I just wanted to talk to you."

"Oh, well this is not the best time." I said, feeling Nick kissing my bare back.

"What's wrong?"

"I….have to go out….to a scene."

"Oh, well I will try again later."

"No, I will be really busy with work. I will call you."

I hung up looking at the phone only aware of the pain inside not Nick's kisses on my skin. He sat up looking at me.

"You okay?"

"What, yes I am fine. I think I should go home."

He watched me pick my things up obviously upset.

"Last night was great. You were great." I said

"Sara."

I stopped looking at him on the bed.

"You don't need to say that."

"I have to go."

"Okay."

I nodded going to his bathroom. Once I was home I laid in my bed looking at my cell phone. I did not call him back. Nick and I did not meet up again until a few weeks later. I began to feel strange two weeks later. Throwing up and feeling dizzy all the time was worrying me. After shift I went home with a pregnancy test. Waiting in the bedroom I paced hearing the bell ding inside the bathroom. Slowly I walked into the room not wanting to look in the sink.

"Come on, Sara!" I said, to myself.

I picked up the test sitting on the toilet seat looking down. There it was two lines which confirmed I was pregnant. I dropped the test on the floor running out of the bathroom. My head ached as I paced the living room breathing fast. My hands went down to my stomach as I stopped pacing looking down.

Catherine let me off to go to the doctor and it was confirmed that I was five weeks along. I sat in the breakroom as everyone waited for their assignments. Nick sat beside me sipping his coffee noticing I seemed out of it. He leaned over to my ear.

"Is everything all right?" He asked

I looked into his worried eyes.

"Yeah." I said

He nodded watching me look down. I had to tell him. He and I were put together on a case. He drove as I stared outside.

"Sara, I feel like you're not really here with me."

I looked over at him as he glanced at me.

"I…was just thinking about the case."

He let it go driving up a road to the scene. We got out of the Tahoe. Nick looked back at me as I had stopped standing next to the car.

"What's wrong?" He asked

"There's something I need to tell you."

"Okay." He said

I swallowed taking a step closer.

"I…."

"Nick, come on!" Brass shouted

Nick looked back at the older man then at me.

"What were you saying?"

"I wanted to say that…I."

"I don't have all night!" Brass shouted again.

"Okay!" Nick said

I gave up walking past him. He ran up behind me. Brass showed us where the victims were in the house then he left.

"You said you….what?" He said, as he put down his case.

"It's not important." I said

I went upstairs working. Suddenly, I heard a noise downstairs. Taking my gun out, I heard shouting then gun fire. I ran down the hallway to the downstairs. The cop at the door was kneeling down on the floor touching Nick who was lying face down.

He stood call for assistance. I looked over seeing a man lying on his side near Nick. I must have screamed because the officer looked at me scared. I ran over to Nick pulling him against my arms. His blood gushed out from the back of his head to my arms. I cried touching his white cheek.

"Please wake up!" I shouted

The officer showed the others in. Someone made me let go of Nick and go outside. Catherine ran up the drive seeing me sitting alone with a blanket around me sitting on the porch of the house. Brass talked to her then she walked over to me.

"Sara, I am taking you home." She said, clearly upset.

I don't remember moving, but somehow I was. I sat on my couch staring ahead in shock as Catherine walked over giving me some tea. She set it beside her on the coffee table. Reaching over she touched my hands in my lap.

"Nick was a good person." She said "I know you two were close."

Her phone went off and she stood talking. The doorbell went off and she opened the door seeing Langston. He walked over sitting beside me pulling me against him talking to Catherine. I felt him pull the blanket close to me.

"They need me to go in." She said

"Go, and call me if you need me."

"Okay." She said, touching my hand again before leaving. Langston looked at the wall in front of him as he held me closely.

I closed my eyes starting to sob against him feeling his body rock back and forth.

"Ssh." He said

I grabbed his coat putting my face against it.

Later Catherine sat at her desk in the lab seeing Langston come in looking worn.

"How is she?" She asked

"Asleep." He said

He sat in a chair in front of her desk sighing.

"How is it here?"

"Not good, everyone is acting like Sara. Dayshift is handling the case since everyone here is to involved."

He nodded as she shook her head looking at her computer.

"I…called him." She said

"Why?"

"He was close to Nick and besides Sara needs him. I told him to drop everything and come back."

The doorbell went off for the tenth time the next evening. I moved off the couch still drowsy from sleep. I opened the door almost screaming when I saw Grissom holding a bag looking at me.

"Catherine called me." He said, taking in my messy hair and white complexion.

He came in as I backed up closing the door.

"Do you mind if I stay here?"

He looked at me as I shook my head staring at him.

"Sara, you look sick." He said, walking over touching my head.

"No, I'm fine." I said

He let me go searching my eyes.

"You can stay on the couch." I said

I walked past him back to the living room hearing him walk over as he set down his case. I felt a hand on my arm trying to pull me to face him. I closed my eyes not wanting to move, but to feel his arms around me was to hard to resist. I moved and felt him envelope me in his warm trusting arms.

He held me in bed as I cried myself to sleep. Grissom looked at me as I faced him. His fingers went to my hair. I woke the next day smelling food. I sat up trying to see past my red swollen eyes. Grissom carried in a tray with his dress shirt open. He walked around the bed setting it across my legs. I looked down seeing a cup of steamy coffee and a plate with eggs and toast. He sat down in front of me.

"I hope you're hungry." He said

I felt some bile rising up. He watched me turn green taking the tray as I climbed off the bed running to the bathroom. I threw up coming out a moment later. Grissom stood looking at me concerned.

"Sara, what is wrong?"

I looked at him wondering if I should mention I was having Nick's child. He walked over touching my arms.

"You can tell me what ever it is."

"I can't." I said

"Why not?"

"If…I tell you then you would hate me."

"Honey, I never hate you."

I walked over sitting down on the bed. He sat down beside me.

"The thing is I…..I am having a baby." I said, looking down.

Grissom looked at me in surprise then he reached over touching my hand.

"Sara, look at me."

I sniffed looking at him.

"Who's the father?"

I stood letting his hand go wiping my face.

"Nick."

He sighed looking down. I turned looking at him.

"You hate me don't you?" I asked

He stood looking at me then he looked at my stomach. I put my arms down in a protective motion. He stepped closer looking at me.

"Honey, I do not hate you. You needed someone to fill the loneness inside. I know how hard this has been on you. I love you and I will try to be a good father to this child if you want me to."

I looked at him as the tears started to trickle down like water.

"How can you be so nice to me?"

He touched my cheek kissing me on the lips. I moved back putting my head against his shoulder.

Grissom walked into the lab with a visitors pass. He walked around feeling the somber mood. Catherine hugged him as he entered her room.

"We are all in a state of shock here. I phoned Nicks family and they are coming here plan the funeral."

"They are burying him here?" Grissom asked

"I suppose. Have you seen Sara?"

"Yes, she is not doing well."

"I imagine since he was her best friend."

"What can I do?" He asked

"You know what you can do." She said, looking at him.

"It's going to take some time."

"Are you moving back?"

"I have to."

She smiled at him sitting back in her chair.

"I have a position open."

"Supervisor?"

"Interested?"

He sighed looking at her.

"We need you back here, Gil." She said

I woke on the couch seeing him come in. He saw me sit up looking less green. On the coffee table was a plate of crackers that I tried to eat. He walked over looking at the plate then he looked at me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better, where did you go?"

"The lab."

"Oh." I said, standing.

"Sara, when is your next doctor's appointment?"

"Um…..not for a few weeks."

"I think you should go sooner."

"I will if I am worse." I said

He blocked my path pulling me to him.

"Honey, I plan on staying if you want me to."

"You….have a job in Paris!" I said

"I am going to tell them I can't do this anymore." He said "I will go back to pack my things then I will be back for good."

"I can't let you do this. You told me how important this was to you!"

"Sara, you are important. This baby is important. I need to be here."

I searched his eyes.

"The question is do you want me back?"

"I would love for you to come back."

He smiled faintly.

"I have a job."

"What?"

"At the lab."

"Doing what?"

"Supervisor."

He let me go walking to the kitchen. I stood there in shock feeling overwhelmed.

The funeral day was brutal. Nick's parents decided to bury him in Las Vegas. We walked to the graveyard and listened as the pastor talked about Nick. Grissom stood next to me looking at the pastor. I looked over at Nick's parents nervous. It was only right to tell them that I was having his child, but how do I bring it up?

Grissom walked me over halfway before pushing me in their direction. I walked over to where they stood looking down at the casket that held their son.

"Excuse me." I said, watching as they both looked over at me. Nick's mother's eyes were red from crying and immediately I knew this was a mistake. "I am very sorry for your loss."

Mr. Stokes looked at his wife then he walked over to me shaking my hand.

"I'm Sara Sidle, I worked with your son."

"Oh, yes, he talked about you." He said

Mrs. Stokes walked over shaking my hand.

"I came over to…..talk to you about something, but this isn't the right place. Would you care to eat someplace with Mr. Grissom and myself?"

They looked at each other then at me nodding. We had them follow us to the restaurant taking a quiet corner table so we could talk. We ordered what we wanted then Grissom nudged me as I prepared to give them a shock.

"You wanted to talk to us?" Mr. Stokes said

"Yes, and this is not easy." I said, looking down. "I wish today of all days I could spare you this, but…..I."

"What is it, dear?" Mrs. Stokes said

I looked at them both then at Grissom who motioned to go ahead.

"Nick and I spent time together out of work. He was special to me. Some time ago I found out I was pregnant with his child."

They both looked at each other in shock then turned to me.

"I don't want any money of help. I just thought it was right to tell you since you are Nick's parents."

Grissom took my hand underneath the table as I shook watching them. Mrs. Stokes touched her husband's arm with pleading eyes.

"We appreciate your telling us. It is a surprise." He said, moving around in his seat looking at his wife.

"To me as well. I am going to marry Grissom and raise the baby. I would be happy to have you come and see him or her when you come to town."

"You both work long hours don't you?" He asked

"We work in the evening." Grissom said

"So the child would not see you very much."

"I am debating on quitting to stay home." I said

Mr. Stokes nodded looking down at the table.

"Perhaps it would be better for the child if my wife and I were to take the child." He said

I silently looked at them seeing that Mrs. Stokes was wanting that as well as she smiled at us.

"You want my baby?" I asked

"He or she would have a good education and be brought up in the fresh air. We have horses and live near parks. Las Vegas seems noisy and if I may say so dangerous."

"May I call you Preston?" Grissom asked, watching the older man nod. "Preston, I understand where you and your wife are coming from. This baby is part of Nick and it is like you have him back, but it is also part of Sara. Isn't it proper to let Sara keep the child?"

"As my husband has said we can provide a stable life for the child." Mrs. Stokes said

"If I might say something here." I said "This is my baby! You want to take it away from me. It is not even born yet and here we are talking about who takes it with them. I appreciate your view, but mine is equally as important."

I stood looking at them all then I ran out. Grissom got up excusing himself going out. I stood outside of the restaurant holding myself as Grissom walked over hugging me.

"I am very proud of you." He said

"I just made a mess of this."

"No you didn't."

I closed my eyes against his coat.

"Let's go back in and have lunch with them then I will take you home and massage your back."

I moved back nodding. After a tense silent lunch with the Stokes we went back home. I laid on the bed as Grissom rubbed my back. He could feel the tense muscles start to relax.

"Quite a day." He said

"Yes." I said

He rolled me over to my back leaning over me kissing my lips. I watched him move back looking at me.

"I love you." He said

"Do you think I should have just let them have the baby?"

He moved sitting beside me.

"Sara, I know you would feel guilt doing that. You will fall in love with that baby when you see it."

"They would give it a better life."

"We will love it that is the difference. They would just give the baby possessions, not love."

I sighed looking to the side.

Two months later I was showing. Grissom and I remarried quietly and began a new life. The cravings I was having were coming more and more. One I kept wanting was oranges. Everyone at work joked about seeing me eating an oranges constantly. Grissom and I came home seeing Mr. Stokes standing outside of our house. Grissom opened my door helping me out then we walked to where he stood.

"Mr. Stokes, it's nice to see you." I said, nervously.

"Hello Sara, how are you doing?"

"Good." I said, watching as he shook Grissom's hand.

"Can we talk?"

"Come inside." Grissom said

I led them up the stairs to the house. We all sat in the living room.

"Sara, I came to talk about the situation. Mrs. Stokes and I talked about this and we feel strongly about wanting the baby."

"Preston, you are putting me on the spot. I understand, but this is my choice and I want the baby."

"What if we take the baby for a few months and then you have him or her for a few months?"

Grissom took my hand in my lap.

"I couldn't do that."

He nodded rubbing his hands together.

"Sara, please understand. Nick was our only child. He is part of that baby."

I touched my stomach as Grissom looked at me.

"We just want him back. My wife cries every day and I honestly don't know what to do. Losing a child is the most painful experience a parent to feel."

I stood walking to the window. Preston looked at Grissom sadly.

"I've give you my answer." I said "Please accept it."

Preston sighed getting up as Grissom did.

"If that is your final word then that's it."

Grissom showed him out closing the door as I walked over rubbing my belly.

"Grissom, am I doing the right thing?"

He walked over kissing me then he reached down touching my stomach.

"I think you are."

I got bigger as the months rolled by. Grissom helped me out of the car in my seventh month. Chuckling as I had trouble. I hit him on the arm as he shut the door putting an arm around my back.

A man walked over to us holding a paper.

"Sara Sidle?" He asked

"Yes?" I said

"This is for you. You have been served." He said, walking away.

"What?" I called, as Grissom took the paper from me. "What is that?"

"It's from the Stokes. They want legal guardianship of the baby."

I gasped touching my stomach. Grissom sighed looking at me.

"I never thought they would go this far."

"Can they do that?!" I asked

"They can try."

I let Grissom take me by the arm leading me to stairs. I spent the night pacing in the living room stressed at the idea that I could lose the baby.

Grissom worried about me as I was to worried to eat or sleep.

We arrived at the courthouse with our lawyer a few weeks into my eighth month seeing the Stokes had already arrived and were waiting. I listened as their lawyer brought up my past and what I did for a living.

A few hours later when the judge was prepared to give his decision I felt ill. We gathered into the room and I sat down next to my lawyer. The judge came in and began to talk. My stomach was hurting and I felt sick. We had to stand up and listen. Sweat went down my cheeks as my lawyer leaned over to me asking if I was all right. I nodded feeling his gaze on me.

When he spoke I gasped leaning over the desk while using my other hand to grasp my stomach. Grissom came to me kneeling down as my lawyer told the judge I needed to go to the hospital.

I remember nothing except people shouting and being taken by gurney to a room. The Stokes sat quietly waiting outside with Grissom as he paced. Preston stood up walking over to Grissom.

"Mr. Grissom, do you think the baby will live?"

Grissom looked at him. The doctor came out seeing them.

"How is Sara?" Grissom asked

"How is the baby?" Preston asked, causing a glare from Grissom.

"Sara, is very weak right now. She lost a lot of blood. The baby…..is in critical condition."

"What does that mean?" Preston asked

The doctor sighed sadly looking at both men.

"Gentlemen, when the mother is stressed and not taking care of herself then the baby can be harmed. In this case I would say that something overwhelming had happened to Sara causing great harm to the child."

Grissom looked at Preston as he looked horrified at the doctor. He swallowed looking at Grissom.

"Preston, what is happening?" Mrs. Stokes asked, walking up to them. "Can we see the baby?"

Preston took his wife's hand leading her away from the two men whispering to her. She gasped putting her hand up to her mouth.

"What are the odds for the baby?" Grissom asked

"I would say not good."

"Can I see her?" Grissom asked

"Yes, but just you." He said, looking over at the Stokes.

The doctor walked away as Grissom looked at the husband and wife standing sadly looking at him.

"I need to go to Sara."

"Mr. Grissom, we never wanted this to happen." Preston said "We….just thought the baby would be better off with us."

"I have nothing to say to you." Grissom said, before leaving.

He came into the room I was in seeing I was looking very white and frail looking.

"Sara?" He called, softly.

When I didn't wake he leaned down kissing my head.

"I am so sorry, honey."

He sat in a chair by my bed keeping vigil. About five am the next morning the Doctor walked in seeing Grissom sleeping in the chair. He touched his shoulder watching the man jump.

"Mr. Grissom, I need to see outside." He said, looking over at me.

Grissom walked out with him.

"I have a letter for you from a Mr. Stokes." He said, handing him the letter.

Grissom took it looking at the doctor.

"How is the baby?"

"No change. If you would like to come and see her with me you can."

"Her?"

The doctor nodded. Grissom looked at the door to my room then he walked with the doctor down the hallway.

The doctor opened the door to where the incubators were around the room with babies inside. Grissom stopped at the one that the doctor showed him. He looked inside seeing the baby breathing slowly looking pale and just as frail as I was.

"Can I hold her?" He asked

"Of course." The doctor said, nodding to a nurse. The woman opened it up reaching in pulling out the baby handing her to Grissom. "You can sit here and hold her for a while."

"Thank you." Grissom said, sitting down in the rocking chair nearby. He touched the baby's cheek remarking on how she looked like me. The baby's head moved moving her little fingers and feet. Grissom kissed her head watching her.

Later he walked out of the room standing in the hallway taking out the letter the doctor gave him earlier. He opened it starting to read.

Dear Sara,

I have talked to my wife and it has been decided that we do not want to upset you anymore. I apologize for the trouble we caused. I have enclosed a check, because we feel responsible for the babies and your health. It is only proper that you keep the baby. We will not interfere.

Preston Stokes

Grissom looked at the check then he sighed looking down the hallway. I took a breath moving my head as Grissom walked over taking my hand.

"Hey, honey." He said, gently.

"Grissom?" I asked, almost whispering.

"I have been waiting for you wake up." He said

I slowly opened my eyes looking up at him.

"The baby?"

"She's not doing well." He said

I stared at him feeling my heart sink. He kissed my hand rubbing it. I moved my head to the side looking at the wall. Grissom felt helpless not being able to make me happy.

The doctor checked me telling Grissom that the baby's health was not improving. He kept it from me as I was still weak. The next morning I ate solid food with Grissom's help. The doctor came in happy with my progress.

"How is my baby?" I asked

Both men looked at each other making me nervous.

"What is wrong?" I asked

"Sara, the baby is still not improving."

I looked at Grissom as he looked down rubbing my hand.

"You never said anything."

"I didn't want to tell you." He said

I looked at the doctor.

"Will the baby die?"

The doctor sighed.

"Sara, I wish I could tell you something positive, but I can't. The baby could die any minute or weeks from now."

Grissom watched me lay my head back looking at him. He saw the pain in my eyes as the doctor left.

"She won't die, Grissom." I said

"Sara, honey."

"No, she will not die."

He leaned over kissing my head as I looked to the side trying to be strong.


End file.
